I was in the shower one morning when I was unexpectedly hit by the truck everyone told me was coming. I was pretty sure I could dodge it. I’m less emotional than most. But, there I was crying in the shower, which is so not me.
But, my god…this is it. After this year, everything changes.
Everything. Our family unit. Our lives. Our household occupancy. Our finances. The daily grind of parenting.
It’s already changing. Little bits at time. Some things are so minor or slow moving that I didn’t even notice they have changed until one day I realize she no longer asks me to brush the knots out of her hair or read her a bedtime story or pick her up from practice.
She gets herself up for school. She washes her own clothes. She drives herself to school and work. She keeps track of her NHS meeting schedule.
Honestly, at first, it felt like freedom. But, now, it just feels a little sad and scary.
I’ve been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you.
I don’t know what happens after Kelly graduates from high school in June and we’re all cast into uncharted waters.
But we’ve been here with her before. She’s the one that changed everything when she arrived. Suddenly, we were somebody’s parents. That was so weird.
We figured it out. Made some mistakes (Hello, Honors Trig!) and learned from them.
And, now we’re checking all the boxes toward the finish line: driver’s license, part-time job, first car, senior photos, voter registration, SATs, ACTs, college application. Careening toward the next step….swept along lest we be left behind.
But ultimately, that’s the goal, right? For her to leave us behind. For us to let her go.
I just didn’t think it would be this hard. (Said every parent of a high school senior in history, I know.)
About Just Write: Just Write is my adaptation of free writing, a technique in which a person writes continuously and quickly without little regard for spelling, grammar, or topic. It helps writers overcome blocks of apathy and explore everything from meaningful topics to mundane observations with the same effort and without the pressure of crafting perfect prose. I just start writing.