Lauren: Mom, did you know that every swear word actually means something?

Me: Uh, I guess.

Lauren: Like a “b$%#” is a female dog.

Me: Yeah.

Lauren: And “A@#” is a butt.

Me: Uh huh.

Lauren: A “jack#$@” is a donkey.

Me: It is. *holding breath, waiting for the big one, deciding to take bull by the horns*

Me: A “dork” is a boy’s ummm…you know.

Lauren: It is? OH. MY. GOD. I’m definitely not going to keep calling myself a dork then.

Me: I wouldn’t.