Lauren: Mom, did you know that every swear word actually means something?
Me: Uh, I guess.
Lauren: Like a “b$%#” is a female dog.
Lauren: And “A@#” is a butt.
Me: Uh huh.
Lauren: A “jack#$@” is a donkey.
Me: It is. *holding breath, waiting for the big one, deciding to take bull by the horns*
Me: A “dork” is a boy’s ummm…you know.
Lauren: It is? OH. MY. GOD. I’m definitely not going to keep calling myself a dork then.
Me: I wouldn’t.