Wednesday morning I wake up twenty minutes late. It’s 20 after and the bus comes at 42 after.

Sh$%!

I jump out of bed, scaring the daylights out of the dog on the floor next to me and the three cats in various stages of slumber around me.

I rush out to the living room, flipping on the hallway lights and yell upstairs: “Girls, we’re late. Get up! Get up! None of our alarms went off. Get dressed now. I’ll make breakfast & get your stuff ready.”

Nobody’s responding and there’s no time to waste, so I charge up the stairs, recalling my earlier promise that I’d never be that mom shouting to the kids to “get up!” from downstairs (one in a long list of parenting “promises” that I broke — like that one about my kids always having their hair combed, etc.).

I roust them. They doth protest, of course. I shush them.

“There’s no time. Hurry up. Get dressed. I’ll make you a bagel you can take with you. Move!”

I feed all the animals — the fish, the cats, the dog — while I heat a cup of coffee. I throw on some clothes, makeup, and twist my hair up into a clip.

Whatever.

When I walk back into the kitchen, it’s 40 after and I’m feeling accomplished as I’ve gotten the entire household up and ready in less than 20 minutes. Go me!

Lauren is still grumbling about it being too early and being tired. I cut her off as I finish cooking my breakfast eggs in the microwave.

“Well, what were you doing sleeping in Kelly’s room last night? You guys need your sleep that’s why I tell you to go to bed on time!  Listen…you guys should go outside and wait for the bus. I hope you didn’t miss it! Were you watching out the window?!”

They reluctantly drag themselves outside, while I finish gathering up stuff for work and putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

At 10 till, they come back in.

“What? Did you guys miss the bus? I have an 8 a.m. meeting, you guys. I can’t be late…crap!”

“Mom, it’s dark out there,” Kelly says. “Nobody is up.”

“What? What?”

“Yeah, it’s 5:50, not 6:50,” she says.

“What…but…I…”

Then it dawns on me. We’re an hour early. I rushed upstairs at 5:20…thinking it was 6:20 a.m.

“Oh….well, um….April Fool’s…a week late! Who wants breakfast?! Pancakes anyone? We’ve got plenty of time now!”

*sigh*