mom & lauren

The girls & I stopped at the pool store recently to pick up a jug of chlorine. As Kelly and I lifted the heavy container into the back of my car, I said, “We have to pack stuff around it cause those jugs always freakin’ fall over.”

Lauren: MOM!

Me: What?

Lauren: Swearing.

Me: I didn’t swear. I said frickin’ — that’s not swearing. And, seriously, what is your big problem with swearing? What makes a word “bad”. Every word is just a word, like tree or blue or chlorine. We attach meaning, but ultimately…it’s just a word — a combination of vowels and consonants. What’s so offensive about one word over the other — why is butt OK, but a#$ is not?

(See, how’s that for stellar parenting? Lecturing the kids on why it’s OK to cuss.)

Lauren: I just don’t want a mom who swears.

Me: Well, you got one. Trust me, it could be worse.

Lauren: Where are we going next?

Me: The liquor store

Lauren: See? That’s what I’m saying. I don’t want a mom who drinks and swears.

Me: Lauren, you’re the reason I drink and swear!