I have a remote control in each hand and I’m pointing both of them at the TV and the VCR….er, excuse me, DVD player, alternately. I’m pressing all kinds of buttons, but “Black Swan” will not start.

“*!@#&$%,” I mutter.

I finally give up, sigh, and yell upstairs: “Kelly, I can’t work this thing. Can you help me?”

And with those words, I realized two things:

1. My 10-year-old is now smarter than me;


2. I’m becoming my mother.

Seriously, I cannot figure out which remote controls operate which electronic devices in this house.  I just pick them up and put them away (about 739 times a day).

Perhaps I should get the girls’ one of these for Christmas?

The Remote Control Wrangler

Right now, there are three remote controls in the organizer on my office desk. I have no idea which one operates the TV in the playroom next to the office. Don’t even ask me what the other two are for. Old TVs maybe?

What do I care anyway? I hardly watch TV and I never watch movies.

But, I had picked up “Black Swan” at the library on a whim and was determined to watch it before it was due back the next day.

Kelly came downstairs, rolling her eyes all the way, and got the movie started for me.

I felt like a 4-year old.  Or, an 84-year-old.

And, my humiliation was all for naught. The movie sucked. It was bizarre and weird, and I fast-forwarded through half of it (once I located the right remote and the fast-forward button, which took most of the first half of the movie because I refused to call Kelly down to help me again).

Anyway…I’m still trying to figure that movie out.

But, then, you know, I’m baffled by a DVD player these days so you can take that little “Black Swan” opinion for what it’s worth.